you`re my one and only

Tuesday, January 01, 2008
9:18 PM

bleahhhs .. its 2008 .. a brand new year .. but im terribly sick . i went count down with kaiern, gary and some others. xD ~ wows.. mum actually allowed me to stay out ! As long as i can take care of myself . x3 heeees.. so we went to a field .. opp esplanade .. somewhere near raffles place. o_o could see the fireworks well. XD i did flim it down on my digital cam but its in 3 parts . T-T~ lousy cam i got . hahs.. and the person infront kept moving T.T "

The fireworks last 8mins 30 secs.. holding the camera to flim it all down was tiring .. and i couldnt see the actual fireworks clearly since my camera was blocking . ><" Kaiern was so lucky her friend flimed it for her. [ o^^o ] Bought some ice cream mochi from Bugis's Beard Papa's Sweets.. wows.. YUMMY! =D~ i think i gonna get it everytime i go bugis. ^^its a must buy. =x hees .

But things didn't go on well .. after the fireworks .. we walked till we reach somewhere near Fullerton.. rest near the waters .. Kaiern got me to try calling some friends to see if we could meet up since we're staying out for the night . Had a hard time calling .. It was like we couldnt reach others but others could reach us via calls . =.="

tahtah called me .. he was nearby and wanted to meet up .. i didnt know he was in a bad mood .. he told me he wanted to come over to find me .. i told him my location .. but not long later, my friend decided to move on to meet arrol .. so i followed.. ><" i didnt want to hold them up.. i smsed tahtah to tell him i left fullerton but perhaps the server was too lag so he didnt receive it on time .. he called me .. asked where i was .. he was disappointed and angry i know. He sms-ed me .. i then found out he was in a very bad mood and wanted to look me up as he thought he would feel better that way but i made it worse.. =(~ sorry tahtah .. i really didnt mean it .

sighs .. went to get some drinks .. then continued walking . wows .. it was TIRING.. i practically looked like i was tired out i guess.. in addition, i was already sick .. ><" bleahs .. gary was very sweet .. he took great care of me .. ^^ hehes.. we waited at dhouby ghaut mrt for arrol .. rested at the steps .. =X ~ blehhh .. i didnt have anything for dinner .. =X just a glass of water chestnut from food junction. hurs.. and one more little secret .. =x my temp. was 37.2 degrees before i left home. =.=" bleeblee ~ <- own language of mine. :x

hmms.. watched alien vs predators .. digital version .. wows.. was quite okay la .. but the tremble or vibration didnt make me feel 0kay .. my chest feel 辛苦.. ><" poor kaiern .. =x she wanted to sit with arrol .. hahaha .. but Jonan sat beside her .. =X She told me cos she calls arrol ' dear ' in maple. =.=! bleahs .. Kaiern alot suitors wor ! >< 真羡慕.. hais .. hmm .. then nothing much wor .. cos quite tired le actually .. den i kept coughing . =.= tagged with kaiern cos she wanted to meet up with her maple daddy~ ><"

可怜的 kaiern.. 竟然在meet her maple daddy 的时候,看到 lance .. ><" 虽然她说她没事.. 但是她看起来很激动.. >< 似乎好像还没放下lance.. 有点担心她.. x.x" aiyos.. my flu's quite bad.. T-T 一整天一直睡.. sleepy sleepy .. =3 Then today i also no appetite .. eat very little..

我一直在向着 shu .. 很久没有他的消息了.. 也没看到 nel online.. ><" 可能回马来西亚了吧..我会耐心的等待.. 谁染时间很漫长..但是我会 try my best .. persevere.. 就应为我爱他! HURS! :x okay nahs.. i end here le.. time to rest .. bleahs .. @@" i flu dao .. nose kinda pain .. cos keep using tissue .. then ears oso kinda blocked. @@" weeets ~ end here norhs .. tatas.. =x

Happy New Year 2oo8 .. May everyone's wishes come true .. peace and harmony to the world . :x~

Friday, December 28, 2007
10:48 PM

我似乎要失去自我.. i was never like that .. 自从他去了台湾之后, 我每天牵挂着他.. 害怕自己的举动真的吓倒他了.. 他去台湾好久了.. 不知道几时才会回来.. =(~ sighs .. few days ago .. his room mate told me he graduate from NUS le .. i was elated .. but .. told me a shocking news the next moment .. he might be going US for 1 year training .. then .. his room mate told me i have 2 choices ..

1. forget about him and get a new boi .
2. get a boi to substitute while waiting for him ..

=(~ 这真的很残忍.. 我很烦.. 但是有时, 我却得装着没事.. 好辛苦.. 这个消息..带给我很大的打击.. 我真的很爱他.. He's the first.. 没有了他的存在, 我失去了自己.. lovesick就只因为他.. 整个人weak weak, strengthless.. 好像在发烧. 他曾经把欢乐带进我的生命里.. depression was once a distance away from me .. but now .. 他的离去, 让我失去了一切.. 我不再开心..

我只要他.. he stays in my heart .. 我现在才发现, 他对我有多么的重要.. hais.. what should i do .. 我只想麻醉自己.. 忘掉一切发生的是..我真得很烦.. 姐姐那里出了事.. 然后妈妈又告诉我.. 她的uncle的病情很严重.. 谁时我和妈妈就的起程.. 去KL. (=.=") 好累.. ever since i broke with gary .. nothing seems to be right .. things keep happening one after another .. i gonna break down .. soon.. sobs ..

Saturday, November 10, 2007
7:08 PM

bleahhs .. very long never blog le .. lazy.. hehe.. have been keeping a diary too .. but stopped le. =p yesterday .. went bunk .. o.o saw this ger .. hugging a minnie mouse grey plush toy.. very big de lor .. ><><>

ytd i very late den reach home wor.. midnight. =x blehh .. =x hehe.. went out with my pri sch best fren ^-^ bought 2 clips.. very cute wor.. took pics .. a bit zi lian ytd .. i found my angle to take pic .. =D very cute worr ! i uploaded in friendster ler.. =P~ hehe .. =x hmm .. planning to meet huinee and shan next thurs.. dunno they free ma .. celebrate my bdae norhs .. =\ bleahs ..

i saw quite a few shopblogs.. got cute stuffs wor .. like clothes .. customised pouch, tees, shoes .. ><" blehh .. when i save enuff money den buy .. hurrs.. =x wo yao bian de gen mei ! rawrs :x

Wednesday, June 13, 2007
5:38 PM

woah.. quite a lot of things happened since the previous post .. well.. so now i gotta blog it all out ! x.x" hmms.. actually on 8th June.. i was supposed to accompany my mum to the National Skin Centre.. She's got warts on the edge of her foot. Everything was fine till the day b4 .. i found out my left earlobe has something popping out .. according to my bf.. its quite scary.. [x.x"] imagine how sotong i can be when i didn't even realise it existed ! omgg.. [>.<"] It doesnt hurt just that i feel weird and uncomfy with sth popping out of the back of my left earlobe. [~_~"] yeahh.. kinda feel strange.. somehow like an alien perhaps.. =\ sighs.. actually i didn't want to let my mum know about it .. fearing she would scold and you know.. just terrible.. [x.x"] so.. i kept mum about it till on 8th June.. when we were on the way there.. i felt it would be better if i tell her about it.. i mean its not like sth minor .. e.g having flu or cough.. yeaps.. so she scolded me loes.. wad else.. blamed me for being vain.. for wearing earrings.. zzz..

so when i reached there, i found out that they only accept referral cases there.. if i were to see a doctor without any refer letter from polyclinics, i'd have to pay as a private patience which was around 50++ - 80 sgd ! omggg... damn expensive loes.. den.. after much thought.. my mum felt that i should see a doctor asap so i went to another clinic.. which was abit cheaper fortunately. =) hmms.. if im not wrong the name is something like Day Time Skin Treatment & Services.. whatever it is.. xD~ i went into the clinic at ard 11.45am.. but was told to return back at 1pm cos the doctors have to go for meetings. [">.<] yeaps.. so my mum and i went for lunch after collecting her medication. =D~ We ate lunch over there.. wasn't as ex as i'd thought it would be.. ordered rice + tofu + spicy squared stingray + 1 veg.. woots.. was okay .. hees.. after that.. we took a walk nearby the cafe or something.. they had a pond with quite a few koi !! yeaps.. i was lucky actually.. since i was a walk-in patient .. i was supposed to wait till the doctor is free or after all the other patients with appointments consult him ler den my turn.. so should be VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY long de.. but since i dere early.. and no much ppl .. so i was the 2nd to see him !! xD~ hees...

He said i had some kind of allergy to nickel or cheap metals.. which meant i have to wear pure metal earrings lo.. or whatever lar.. like sliver or gold.. =l bleahs.. i never knew i had this kind of allergy.. T_T" troublesome.. so after that.. he took a look at my condition and details about my medical records.. i was then told to go for treatment .. [>.<"] i took a jab on my left earlobe.. into the thingy thats swollen.. have one more jab to go next month ! T____T" when i saw the "nurse".. i was so shocked.. i told myself.. its good game this time.. it was a male nurse.. i expected him to rough and whatsoever but .. it turned out otherwise !! He was gentle and observant =x He talked to me.. to calm me down.. den slowly do the jab.. the pain was bearable . xp hehs.. oh yarhs, the doctor said he'll let me try 2 treatments.. if the swollen thingy don't shrink smaller.. they'll have to cut off the dumb swollen thingy from the back of my earlobe.. bleahs..

okay now next .. =x yesterday(ytd) .. my mum came back from work late.. and guess what .. she went for shopping.. and she bought pearls ! x.x" she said they were real ones.. in OG de.. promotion or stuff.. not sure if its real but they are BEAUTIFUL! omgg.. the pearls were opened from the shells.. ( according to my mum ) and was made into earrings and pendant.. my mum got me and my sis pendant and earrings.. one set each. hehes.. xP~ got pink pearls lo !! and light black de.. woahhh.. i never took a liking for pearls de.. but after what i saw yesterday.. i was like.. OMG.. PRETTY!! =x hehe.. =p

kay, now for today.. quite tiring wor.. went to granny hse in the evening.. just got back not long ago at 11+pm.. [x_x"] sighs.. hab tution tml somemore.. but the food at granny hse today was superb ! yummilicious.. hehes.. been long since i felt food at garnny hse was nice since practically every sunday i have the same things for dinner.. steamboat and greenbean soup. [x.x"] Dolly ( my granny hse de doggie ) was cute today !! heehees.. she was sitting beside my grandma in this so lady-like posture.. crossing her front legs.. LOL.. so cute ! >w<" okay lar.. i stop blogging here ler.. >_<" -boredom-

Wednesday, June 06, 2007
9:55 PM

sighs.. dunno why wor.. just felt sad today.. kinda unhappy.. =\ perhaps bcos i got not enuff to buy the hp barhs.. too ex ler.. both models oso ard 400.. T.T" sighs.. felt disappointed. =( hmms.. ytd got married in maple too.. hehs.. =x 05/06/07 - 8pm. [x^-^] mehs! recently i got very annoyed by my limited amt of clothes i can wear too! i nida go find some lers.. =\ hais.. sadded! ><"

actually i got nth much to blog wor.. >< wahahahha ="x"><" was sitting at the void deck den got one cute cute kitty wor .. watched him from a distance den after quite some time it actually WALKED to sit beside me.. waaaaaaaaaa~ i scare dao ... T_T" lOls.. i thought the kitty wanna bite me or something. [x.x"]

sians.. promised deardear to sleep early today.. nida slp at 11pm ! hais.. =( tml gotta wake early for tution too ! ><>

Friday, May 25, 2007
6:20 PM

sighs .. is it just him or reality .. it was him who hurt me, but he pushed the blame on me .. i feel so hurt .. though i got no feelings for him .. but it hurts.. really .. a lot .. i put in effort to make him konniyaku jelly, even if it doesn't taste nice i wont mind hearing the truth .. but he go to the extend to tell me to bring it home. Does anyone understands how much it hurts .. it was made specially for him .. everyone said it tastes good .. is there a need to ask me to bring it home ? I had to open my mouth to tell him " keep it at your house ba.. " , upon hearing the stabbing fact he asked me to bring it home.. yet he GOT THE CHEEKS to tell me today in fact, but its at my hse wad, finished ler .. whats the use .. it wasnt him that finished it all up .. it doesn't matter if it doesn't taste nice enough for him .. put he didnt appreciate my efforts and sincerity .. he ASKED me to bring it home .. its just like rejecting a gift .. the moment he asked me to bring it home .. there is no point of arguing.. it will remain as a fact, he hurt me .. i told him several times .. we seemed to be getting apart, but he done nothing.. the starting of our relationship was sweet .. but what goes next ? our relationship was tasteless .. worse than plain water .. he always gave me reasons like he've got no money to meet me etc .. but he have money to play mahjong gamble with friend etc ?

He just obviously was lazy .. doesn't want to meet me up .. end up i had to go his place .. no calls from him no sms from him of care n concern or even love .. what am i to him ? After breaking up, he showed me a 360 degrees change of attitude .. well, that doesnt matter now .. because i'm glad i saw his true colours .. he made things ulgy .. not even a chance to be friends.. he made me sound like im evil .. im bad.. yeah well .. thats his mouth .. what can i say .. perhaps i admit i did hurt him .. but i was trying to salvage the relationship, in which .. to me, he doesn't seem to bother .. its just too late .. sighs .. he's just a jerk .. there he is saying " no i didn't want to argue .. ", but he obviously is trying to provoke me .. why bother to wish me having happy life after we break when he wasn't even trying to do so.. his words had hidden intentions .. telling me not to hurt my future bfs ? WHO HURT WHO NOW .. WHO WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE RL BUT KEPT SAYING HE LOVE ME.. JUST FKING GET THE FACTS RIGHT ..

i didn't even when to bother abt his life .. yet he is here pm-ing me .. im just not in the right mood today .. after such things happened to me .. such a jerk .. hais .. well .. enuff abt him .. talking about him just spoils everything .. ytd i went to vivo with dear wor .. xD~ =3~ he going in ns ler .. hais .. but we split the cost and made a bunny .. hees.. it was sweet .. will keep it a secret .. =X but i guess it doesnt hurt to let you know i named the bunny after him .. hees.. we went to watch a movie too .. hurhur .. and i discovered he is extremely sensitive to tickling =x gahahahaha.. =X things were sweet when we were watching the movie .. x3 but i wasnt exactly paying attention .. all i had in mind was .. sighs.. our last date before he go in NS.. he was quite sad actually because since we were staying quite far apart .. i had to go home early.. i'm just not used to it .. i prefer my bf to send me home and not go home so early .. T.T but i kept things to myself .. i understand his diffculities.. so its just okay.. =3~ alright .. i'll end here .. ><" hope everything will be fine for dear ba .. x3~

take care wor .. bbie `

Wednesday, May 23, 2007
12:36 PM

As my title for this post states, everything ended.. its over between me and him .. it should had happened long ago .. but i didnt know how to get it across to him .. i felt so bad .. i didnt want to hurt him .. but now .. i hurt him twice. we shouldnt have patched.. though i hope we could be like what we used to be .. but the feeling's not there anymore. Perhaps i got hurt too much .. i know im always making him angry .. we just shouldnt be together .. In my point of view, a relationship should not be just about love.. its also about trust, respect, forgive and forget .. to forget all the unhappiness and to forgive all the wrong doings if you really love him.

sighs.. its raining now .. really adds to my emo feeling now.. ["x.x] i got to meet my pri sch best fwen at BISHAN later ! OMG~ and its raining !! what the hell .. zzz.. but i like it when its raining though.. xD~ hmms.. gonna go buy contact lens later.. woots ! =x hees.. ><" umms.. tml gonna make bunny ... i wonder if i got enuff cash .. rawrs ~~ sians.. tml got tution somemore~ T.T cfm tio holdup extra hrs de.. ><" umms.. recently things have been bad.. all i wan is some peace .. x.x" haix..

frens meant alot to me .. i dont like seeing a friend sad or hurt etc .. but i got hurt .. i hate her .. all i want is just to chat with my buddy .. but her jealousy ruined it all .. i lost 3 buddies just bcos of her .. if she said im a flirt just becaused i merely wanted to chat with my buddy .. den whats she ? she go out with my other buddy to the supermarket without going with her bf ? LOL .. just get her bf to go with her lar .. why ask my other buddy go ? somemore say " aiya dun care him ".. him refering to her bf aka the buddy i wanted to chat with .. lols.. vulgar yi da dui out from her mouth .. this kind of ger .. lmao ~ dunwan oso nvm de.. hahs.. not a girl to me aniiwaes..

Girls should refrain from speaking vulgarities as far as possible.. if a ger keeps using vulgarities.. omg.. be a guy sua .. some words dunno meaning dun anyhw use .. lols .. she still threaten to ask me to watch out SIA .. why .. BF cannot control properly find me arhs ? poor thing sia .. be her bf like her doggie .. control everything.. friends oso cannot ? lmao.. lame .. if got trust in him .. den wun liddat ler .. no trust in the relationship, den stead for sai ? lmao.. everything oso wan poke nose into.. irritating + annoying lar .. think she very popular , very BIG arhs.. use vulgarities = ppl scared ? lmao.. try me .. lai .. hit me kill me.. i not scared .. i rather die anyway .. end up in police station later i see how u act big in front of police.. turn into mouse ? LOL.. pls la .. kids nowadays .. got chup sho wad ? grow up ler noe how to think den talk ba ..

ppl ard me got chup de now grow up ler .. all tell me they regret .. lols.. kiddos nowadays.. SIAN! okay.. i shall stop abt all these .. oo btw, cia ask me chg hairstyle + dye n highlight hair wor .. woots .. might try xD barbie doll hair .. suits me marhhh !? hmm .. the curly curly de =x gimme some opinion pwees thanks .. hehs..

xiaobaiie and nee nee .. how are things going for u 2 ? x^^x hope everything's fine .. free jiu msn or sms me .. xD~ miss u 2 ! muacks =x thats all for today ler .. im tired of reality in life ..